Drowning

I am so totally in over my head lately. I feel so overwhelmed most days! Being a mom is hard, hard work, which I knew going into this, but at the same time I really had no idea at all. It's rewarding, and I love my son so much I could explode, but, damn if I don't want to run away some days.

Added to being the mother of a 6 month old (who, by the way, has decided he no longer wants to sleep through the night), I work more than I would like (part time, Ha), I have two very needy dogs, I have a husband who, as helpful as he would like to be is not home very much to actually help, I'm taking my final 12 credits for my BS degree. Basically I am finding it impossible to be a good mother, wife, daughter, friend, student, employee, etc, etc, etc. Oh, and I have taken to crying...a lot.

So, duh, I have post partum depression. Yes, I've been seeing someone for it. Yes, I got put on medication for it. And yes, it is kicking my ASS! I just finished reading "It Sucked and then I Cried"...which was like I had written it myself! Good book, you should check it out, even if you don't have PPD. Anyway, this basically is serving as my apology to all my friends, family, animals, coworkers, and especially my beautiful son...I know I'm not myself, I can feel it in my bones, but I'm trying. I'm trying really, really hard, and I'll hopefully get back there soon. And in the meantime I promise not to actually throw anything, run away, or hide under the bed.

Use your words

If only Mason could just talk, then he could tell me what hurts. He obviously does not feel good. My dad called me today around 1pm to let me know something was up, and when I picked the little guy up around 2pm he was hot and cranky and really cuddly. Now, normally Mason is a happy, easy going baby who does not like to snuggle, so all of these things indicate a problem. Problem is, who knows what it is. Is he teething? Does he have a cold? A bellyache? WHO KNOWS?!?! Even the pediatrician doesn't know (I took him in so she could look at his ears just to be sure it was nothing obvious) So now he's sleeping, which is pretty late in the evening to be sleeping (which, according to my dad is what he did all day). I may wake him up soon, just so I can have some chance of sleeping tonight. Ugh. It just breaks my heart when he doesn't feel good!

What we've been up to...part 2

The weather this past week has been crazy nice in Anchorage. Mason and I have taken a walk in the Chariot pretty much every day. On Wednesday we stopped at the park and discovered that Mason loves the swings. He's big enough to sit in the baby swing alone and smiled and laughed the whole time. He also takes great naps after our walks, an added bonus for everyone!

We are signed up to take a parent/toddler swim class. I'm hoping he likes the pool as much as he likes the bathtub. I'm sure there will be plenty of pics to show off from his first swim lessons.

I can't believe it's been 5 months already. People weren't kidding, time really does fly by!

Fun in the garage with daddy requires ear protection. Plus, it's really fun to talk to yourself with ear muffs on.




















I love dressing him in overalls. I think he's pretty cute in anything, but overalls are especially cute!












Fun with mom after his bath! He is such a happy baby!

Team Hope 2009

Thanks again to everyone who walked or donated. Hope to see you next year!

News and updates

Sorry it has been a while, but we have been one busy family! Mason is over 5 months old now, and is doing more and more every day. He has discovered the joy of rolling around, and is trying so hard to creep now. He can scoot a little already to get to something he wants, but it's far from what I would consider crawling. I think he's also working on a tooth. He's been irritable (which is strange), doesn't want to eat much (even stranger), and especially drooly and has a clear runny nose. He also wants to chew on EVERYTHING! We'll see if anything develops, or if maybe it's just a cold.

Here's some other things Mason has been up to...

Mason was not too sure about the Jumperoo at first. He now thinks it's great and sqeals with delight when he can move and jump around.

Eating rice cereal. Always messy, but also always fun.

Just like the bib says, "Cute but messy"

Rolling is so fun!

Mason loves his exersaucer! He gets so excited playing with all the toys around him.