August 11, 2010

Different Strokes

Let me start with my apologies to anyone in my husband's family who may actually read my blog. Not sure if anyone does, but just in case, this is not meant to offend. Maybe, actually, someone could leave a comment explaining this strange phenomenon to me.

That being said, I do not understand the birthday situation in my husband's family. I grew up in a family where birthdays were (and still are) a BIG deal. It's your one day a year that is YOUR DAY. As a kid, I loved when my birthday was coming around. My mom has always made the most fantastic birthday cakes, and I would spend hours looking through her cake decorating books deciding what kind of cake I wanted that year. Between my brother and I we have had flowers, cars, wrestlers, teddy bears, dinosaurs, barbies, skulls, penguins, etc. She still makes cakes for us, and now for her grandchildren. They are seriously amazing. We also got to pick what we wanted for dinner on our actual birthday (either something our mom made or a restaurant).

Along with the cakes, we always had a birthday party. Actually, a lot of years we had two (a family one and a friend one). They weren't always huge, expensive events, but they were our party, on our day, and were what we decided. What kid wouldn't love this...a party with your friends, family, your favorite dinner and, of course, a super yummy cake.

I'm sure you're guessing by now that this is not the experience I'm having with Todd's family. Like, not at all. Every year, when birthdays come around for the younger members of his family, I wait for a party invite...and they never come. This leaves me thinking "WTF?" as well as feeling bad for them for what they're missing out on.

I understand that it is unusual that even now as I have entered my 30s that my mom still makes such a big deal over my birthday, but it is totally weird to me that the CHILDREN on his side don't get their one day. I'm trying to be good about not saying that it's "weird" and remember that it's just "different".

So where does this leave us with Mason? He will be having birthday parties...of course, right now he's not even 2 so he doesn't really have any friends, but trust me, he will have the childhood birthday party memories that I have. And he'll probably make his cousins jealous. As my mom told me, sometimes, when you're a parent, you end up doing things that you never thought you would do, not because you want to, but because it's what your child wants, and what will make him happy.

1 comment:

Mariah's Mama said...

Families do indeed have different ways of "celebrating" (including what looks to some like not celebrating at all) I say go for it and go all out. You probably realize this from your experiences, but the great cakes and special parties are what kids remember - not the gifts. So let others have as you say their "different strokes" ...and you just CELEBRATE that beautiful son of yours every birthday (and every day)!