No more sleeps!

How could I forget to mention that Papa finally came home?! Mason had been counting down how many sleeps until Papa would be home, and ever since has been telling us "No more sleeps left!!!"

Mason missed his Papa so much, this was really the first year that he realized what it meant to have him gone for so long. One night, as he was looking at his "where is Papa" map, he got tears in his eyes and told me that "Papa went too far on his motorcycle and he got lost. Now he is lost and all alone." It was so sad and a little pathetic, too.

Here is Mason showing off his muscles in his outfit Papa got him in Sturgis

Wee bit Wednesday 19

{one} what's your guilty pleasure tv show?

Wow, I hate to admit, but I have quite a few. Any of the Real Housewives, Top Chef,

any Kardashian nonsense....it's actually embarrassing how 

much I love Bravo and Andy Cohen!

{two} ear piercings on men: yes or no?

That's definitely a no.

 

{three} do you have dish or comcast?

Neither. We have GCI.

 

{four} what's your favorite current fashion trend?

Well, since it's turning into fall everywhere else,

there are fun boots all over the place.

 

{five} if you could learn to do anything, money not being an issue, what would it be?

I would love to learn how to surf....in warm water/weather, of course.

 

{six} red or white wine?

Red. 

 

{seven} what type of food is your favorite (ex. italian, mexican, etc.)

Italian. (Duh)

 

{eight} hp or mac?

I am a total Mac convert!

 

{nine} what color is your bedroom?

It's kind of a blue/grey color

 

{ten} what's your favorite form of exercise?

I actually love group classes, I need the

motivation from others to keep going!

Until we meet again

Mason helped me through one of my infusion appointments. 

He was great company, and did a great job leaving my port alone

I thought I should do a little update about the recent MS flare I had. Three days of steroids ended up not being enough, so I did a total of 5 days. They really are just about the worst thing ever, but thankfully it wasn't all for nothing because they did actually help.

Texas Ranger is packed away. I'm hoping I won't ever need to use him again, but I'm pretty sure the reality is that he's just put away until next time. I hate to admit this, but having a walker did actually help a lot. I felt more stable walking and was able to get out of the house a little bit.

I ended up having new MRI scans done of my brain (stable), cervical spine (stable) and my thoracic spine (new lesion). Luckily these were done over two days, and my neurologist gave me xanax. I'm definitely not happy about having a new lesion, but at the same time it's nice to have a reason for this latest flare.

My next Chicago visit has been bumped up to October, rather than December. I'm not sure what the plan will be exactly, but they will do my EDSS again and I guess go from there. 

Todd was amazing (as always) during this whole thing. I can't imagine how he must feel having to sit back and watch all of this unfold, but he never lets on just how much he must hate it. He stayed home to help with Mason and got me to and from all my appointments. He even put up with me being a COMPLETE LUNATIC while I was on the solu-medrol infusions (although he later described it like dealing with a pregnant woman on meth). 

I'm happy to report that I'm back to my normal self, and I'm not longer crying or screaming randomly like I was. Of course, my normal self has it's own share of neuroses, but at least they don't include me cussing out my husband for mowing the lawn (yes, that really happened). Physically I don't feel like I'm back to "normal" (or at least what my normal was before the flare), but I'm hoping that it will continue to improve as time goes on. Or, if it doesn't, I at least hope that my EDSS reflects it and I'll get moved into the treatment arm of the Chicago study.

wee bit Wednesday 18

{one} what is your favorite breakfast food?Club Scramble at Snow City Cafe
{two} how many pairs of shoes do you currently own?You seriously want me to count? I cannot put thatnumber in black and white...my husband reads this blog, people!
{three} city or country?City
{four} what is your favorite part of your job?Helping people. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true!
{five} what is your favorite junk food to snack on?Doritos 
{six} have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?Only if you count our engagement announcement.
{seven} do you use post-it notes?Yes. I love post-its!
{eight} do you have freckles?I have a few on my nose and shoulders, but they only show up when I've been tanning
{nine} is it okay for men to wear pink?Of course! Pink is the new black!(I should note here that Todd does not agreewith that statement, and does not wear pink)
{ten} when was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?I don't know about an actual letter, but I wrote a thank you card just this last weekend. And I write notes to people all the time. 

HAIR we go again!

Our season tickets for the Anchorage Symphony came in the mail the other day. I can't believe it's just a few weeks until the season opener!!! I'm really excited about the concerts coming up, especially the Planets concert this winter. I have been saying for years that I want ASO to perform the planets, and it's finally happening.

And of course, the start of the ASO season means the start of another season of ogling at Randy's hair!

Awkward

So, does it make me a traitor to sit inside a Barnes and Noble and read my Kindle?

Took an unexpected trip up to Fairbanks for the weekend. Sarah's (my brother's girlfriend) mom was put in hospice care. Not really anything to do expect sit around, but I just got that feeling like I needed to come be  here for them.

It's always an interesting experience being on the "other" side. And it's always a HUGE reminder of how patient's and their families perceive our actions as healthcare workers. Not an easy situation at all.

Wee Bit Wednesday 17

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?Clean shaven. I am not a fan of facial hair. Unless of course you are Johnny Depp, in which case youcan do whatever you like and you will still begod damn sexy!!
{two} what’s your favorite sundae topping?Caramel
{three} do you own slippers?Yes. I have an amazing pair of Ugg slippers
{four} did you ever have a tree house?No. I always wanted a play house as a kid, but our neighbors had one so that was goodenough. Although, had that play house been mine, I wouldhave loved to spruce it up a bit with curtains and such.
{five} how you do relieve stress?Read a book, drink a glass of wine, or just go to bed.
{six} what’s your favorite dr. seuss book?The Lorax and Put Me in the Zoo
{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?When I was young I was in ballet and tap. That ended long,long ago. I would love to take ballroom or salsa classes now but Todd's view on that is that people in hellwant ice water...not holding my breath.
{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?Thesaurus, I guess.
{nine} what’s your favorite form of exercise?I love pilates, although I really don't do it much anymore
{ten} what’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?Every time I am waiting in line is the longest time I've ever waited in line. I have no patience.

Why you should always have cheese in your house

I needed a laugh, so I thought I'd check out my girl Hannah at My Drunk Kitchen. Although, I am greatly disturbed by this episode...who doesn't have cheese in their home? That is a staple. A STAPLE, do you hear me?



Also, I think I need some MDK schwag...pronto.

Still waiting

I'm still waiting to feel better. Right now, I'm stuck in the steroid craziness. Mood swings, vertigo, heartburn, exhaustion, insomnia, confusion, hot flashes, irregular heart rate, hunger, crying, flushed face, forgetfulness, nausea, joint pain....plus all the MS symptoms I took the steroids for in the first place.

I did manage to make it out a little today. Todd, Mason and I all ventured out for two quick trips. I did take Texas Ranger with me, and even though it is probably one of the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, I'm glad I took the damn thing with us so I could at least walk around a little bit. And Mason thinks it's fun to sit and ride on it. (Oh, to be a kid again)

Right now I'm planning on trying work again tomorrow. We'll see how it goes, I guess. Thursday is my normally scheduled Tysabri infusion and if this hasn't gotten significantly better (i.e. no longer using Texas Ranger) I will be having a long conversation with both my neurologist here as well as the study team in Chicago.

I am trying to remind myself that while in the past the steroids have helped faster than this, my past flares were not nearly as severe as this one.

Steroid Ramblings

This week has sucked. I think that basically goes without saying.

My house is a mess. Dishes aren't done. Laundry isn't done. Toys aren't picked up. You get the idea.

Normally, by steroid day 2, I'm feeling better enough to get more work than I probably should be doing done. Today, I walked (with Texas Ranger) to check the mail. That's about all I've got in me.

Texas Ranger and I seem to be getting along fairly well. No offense to the walker, of course, but as helpful as he is, I'm not planning on this being a long term affair.

My MRIs are all finally over. Thank the lord for Xanax. What a beautiful, amazing, glorious drug! Brain, cervical and thoracic spines. Ugh.

As far as MRI results go, I'm torn. Nothing enhancing (which means no active demyelination right now) which is good, but it doesn't help to explain why I'm having the biggest flare I've ever had.

Still don't really know what this means for Chicago, either. On top of not even knowing if I'm going or not, tickets right now are so freaking expensive.

The saying "you find out who your friends are" is so amazingly true. You know who you are. Thank you.

Not sure about work right now. Not like I can take care of patients or run to the OR with a freaking walker. It's stressful. The nice part about being PRN is the flexibility it allows. The shitty part is that I don't get sick or vacation time.

My dear friend Guilt has decided to come back and join the party. I feel so bad the last few days that Mason has me for a mommy. I can't pick him up or run around with him or jump or do really much of anything except sit while he plays or brings me books to read. He didn't ask for this and I'm so sorry for that.

Today is Todd and my 5th anniversary. Bet it's times like this he wishes he had a return policy for me. Funny though, it's times like this I realize just how lucky I truly am to have him.

Have you eaten at Table 6 yet? So yummy. Great service, great drinks, great food (I love that they have think french fries) and super casual atmosphere. 

You know what true love is? For Todd's anniversary, I got tickets for us to go see k.d. Lang in concert. He loves her...me, well, not so much.

Know what else true love is? For my anniversary gift, Todd is knocking another thing off my "bucket list". A flight seeing trip around/on Denali! It won't be until June because the weather is so crappy this time of year, but at least that gives me a whole year to be walking normally again.

Mason as another play date set for Monday with his "new friends". That's what he's been calling them, which is funny because they aren't really "new", we've known them for a while, but we just recently started getting the kids together more. Hopefully it's nice and they can play outside.

I started watching Desperate Housewives on Netflix. I've never watched it before and I am incredibly disappointed that no one told me how freaking HOT the guy that plays Mike Delfino is! How is it that I have gone on this long without this knowledge?

In Which Chuck Norris helps me get through the tough times

 I did see the neurologist today...the short version is brain and c-spine MRI tomorrow morning and T-spine MRI on Friday morning. Also, three days of IV solu-medrol. I'm sure the steroids will give me plenty of insomnia induced time to blog all about the long version of this story. But that will have to do for now.

So, this is really happening. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I just start to cry. I know (hope) it's just temporary, and it really does make my life a lot easier right now...but that doesn't make it suck any less.

I'm planning on naming him Texas Ranger...as in Walker, Texas Ranger (aka Chuck Norris)

Although, if this ever turns into a full-time thing, I will definitely need to get it tricked out...I found this on a site that had a "Pimp my Assistive Device" link. Who knew!

Wee Bit Wednesday 16

{one} do you wear holey jeans? if so, do you buy them that way?no and no
{two} do you get a full 8 hours of sleep per night?I would LOVE to! And I do try, it just normally doesn't happen
{three} what’s your favorite way to eat an oreo?I don't normally eat them, but I guess when I do I eat them I eat thetop cookie part first, then the middle and the bottom cookie part together.
{four} do you wear shoes in your house?Nope. 
{five} who would you call first if you won the lottery?Todd.
{six} have you ever been in a food fight?No. Can you even imagine the mess? Oy!
{seven} do you snore?Todd says I do sometimes, but I don't think so :)
{eight} do you know how fast you type?No, but I do type really fast.
{nine} can you do a headstand (without using a wall)?I wouldn't be able to do that even WITH using a wall!
{ten} how do you like your popcorn?With just a little butter. 

Don't mind me

Starting on Thursday I started noticing some weird sensations in my hands. This is par for the course most days for me, weird numbness or tingling, especially in my hands and legs, so I tried to ignore it. And then I started having weird twitches in my hands. Just random twitches. Not painful, but still super annoying. I have been trying to ignore this stuff and go about my business, but the twitches are now also this weird sensation all over my body. On top of the strange feelings, I have been having vertigo, which then makes me nauseated. Yesterday was so bad after I got off work I went home and searched the medicine cabinet to see if I had any nausea medicine left over from pregnancy (I did). I also took a little nap, but woke up with half of my face feeling numb.

So...I finally called the neurologist. There are other MS symptoms rearing there ugly little heads, so I'm pretty sure this is a flare. I've been lucky and haven't had a big flare in a long time, at least not one that required steroids, so I shouldn't complain, but the thought of having to do a course of steroids really sucks. Plus I'm not 100% sure what this means for my study. I'm pretty sure they'll want me to have an MRI before starting steroids, but I'm not sure if they'll also want me to fly to Chicago because of it.

I hate being a complainer, but I really have been feeling shitty. And since Thursday it just seems to be getting worse. Especially the vertigo/nausea. I think I could deal with the weird twitches and weakness, but the nausea really affects everything.

Now I'm just waiting for a call back from my neurologist.

There goes that

Summer didn't seem to last very long this year. Not that Alaskan summers ever really do. I suppose it was definitely better than last year, but it's only August 7th, and there is already talk of termination dust on the mountains. These pictures weren't even a month ago, when it was warm and sunny enough to play in the pool outside....but if the last week of rain is any indication as to how August is going to treat us, I'd say it's safe to pack it away.

Fun in the sun

Look at me go, Mommy!

Beach ball fountain

Even my girlfriend Atalaya came to check out my pool 

Driving in my new playhouse 

This slide is fast!

Learning how to pump my legs on the swing

Having a talk with Daddy

Wee Bit Wednesday 15

{one} what was one thing that you valued when you were a kid?Time with my family at our cabin. It was my favorite place to go as a kid.
{two} what was your favorite (+ least favorite) subject in school?Favorite was definitely english or biology. Least favorite was any speech/public speaking class.
{three} do you remember your first love?Of course.
{four} what one pet would you love to have?A horse.
{five} would you rather live in the country or in the city?I am definitely a city girl.
{six} what do you love about blogging?I love that it allows me to be so selfish and talk about whatever I want to talk about.
{seven} what is the first website you visit everyday?e-mail (yahoo)
{eight} will you or have you joined google+?I already have.
{nine} what is your favorite scent of candle/air freshener?I like citrus smells. 
{ten} how would you describe your style?Is there a name for "mom of a 2 year old"? I guessthat would probably be called easy!