Drowning

I am so totally in over my head lately. I feel so overwhelmed most days! Being a mom is hard, hard work, which I knew going into this, but at the same time I really had no idea at all. It's rewarding, and I love my son so much I could explode, but, damn if I don't want to run away some days.

Added to being the mother of a 6 month old (who, by the way, has decided he no longer wants to sleep through the night), I work more than I would like (part time, Ha), I have two very needy dogs, I have a husband who, as helpful as he would like to be is not home very much to actually help, I'm taking my final 12 credits for my BS degree. Basically I am finding it impossible to be a good mother, wife, daughter, friend, student, employee, etc, etc, etc. Oh, and I have taken to crying...a lot.

So, duh, I have post partum depression. Yes, I've been seeing someone for it. Yes, I got put on medication for it. And yes, it is kicking my ASS! I just finished reading "It Sucked and then I Cried"...which was like I had written it myself! Good book, you should check it out, even if you don't have PPD. Anyway, this basically is serving as my apology to all my friends, family, animals, coworkers, and especially my beautiful son...I know I'm not myself, I can feel it in my bones, but I'm trying. I'm trying really, really hard, and I'll hopefully get back there soon. And in the meantime I promise not to actually throw anything, run away, or hide under the bed.