Indestructible

Our other Christmas drama had to do with our pug, Duncan. Our family does a kind of potluck-style dinner when we all get together. It's great, everyone brings something so no one gets stuck having to cook everything all day. For Christmas we were responsible for the turkey and the bread.

I actually really love making bread. It's such a process, but I think it's so fun. I decided to make a braided Challah loaf. I mixed everything together, kneaded the dough and set it by a baseboard heater upstairs (behind a closed door where it could get nice and warm). Punched it down and let it rise again. Punched it down and rolled it out into four pieces, then braided them together. Then I put the braided dough back to rise a final time...and apparently didn't close the door all the way. Next thing I know the stupid pug has eaten almost half of the raw bread dough. Grrr! My beautiful bread was ruined!

I actually didn't think much of it at the time, other than being mad Duncan ruined my bread and also mad because he's so stupid (he really is, he'll eat anything). I figured he would have a belly ache, probably throw up, or have diarrhea (or both) and that would be it. So out into his kennel he went.

The next morning, after Todd fed him and went to work, I noticed he threw up his food. This didn't really surprise me much. What bothered me was the fact that the poor dog was tripping over his own two feet, stumbling around the house, literally walking into things. Then I noticed that my normally svelte pug had quite the round little tummy. It hit me like a ton of bricks...FRICK! The dough kept rising IN HIS STOMACH! Then for the second ton of bricks...DOUBLE FRICK! The yeast fermented, and he is drunk!!!

I immediately got on the phone with Diamond Animal Hospital (not our normal vet, but they have a 24 hour emergency room there). They said I needed to bring him in right away to be seen because the alcohol poisoning can be toxic to a dog. Ugh. Great. I had just gotten Mason down for his nap, so my aunt was kind enough to come over to the house while I took Duncan to the vet.

The moment we walked into the vet office they took us straight back (there were probably 5 people in the waiting room ahead of us). The vet did a couple x-rays of Duncan's abdomen to see if he was passing the dough or not.

For those of you reading this that work in x-ray, I'm sure your jaw just dropped (like mine did, too). For those of you who don't work in x-ray, Duncan's stomach is the huge thing taking up most of his abdomen. Basically, the picture on the top is like you were looking at him laying on his back. The black at the top is his lungs (air), the white in the middle of that is his heart. Just below this on your right (Duncan's left) is a huge oval shaped fuzzy thing...that would be his stomach full of raw bread dough.

So, this explains why his stomach was so distended. The problem here is because his stomach was so huge, it shifted all his other abdominal organs out of place, making it hard to tell what is what. Based on these pictures, the vet couldn't say with certainty that Duncan hadn't perforated, or ruptured, his stomach. He suggested going into surgery immediately...which I was not a fan of at all. He decided to do an ultrasound first to try to confirm what was going on, which luckily showed Duncan hadn't ruptured anything. So now we could try to get him to throw up this mass of dough, which I am so thankful he did. The other option was to go in surgically and get it. Again, not a fan of that option at all.

Story over, right? Wrong. Tuesday I had to take Duncan to our normal vet to have his liver enzymes checked. Because of the alcohol poisoning he had we had to make sure he didn't do damage to his liver. Our vet called us last night with his blood results. His enzymes are a little elevated, and his electrolytes are slightly out of range, but judging on the weekend the poor guy had, it wasn't anything too shocking. Hopefully the enzymes are just up right now from having to metabolize all that alcohol and will go back down, but we won't know for sure until we recheck them in 6 months.

As for Duncan, since the moment he threw up he has been acting like nothing ever happened. This dog is seriously retarded, but I love him. I can't help but wonder, though, how many lives a dog gets. They always talk about cats having 9 lives, but no one says this about dogs. Whatever the case is, this dog is going through them pretty quickly. 

On the road again

Here I am, back in Chi-town. I left Anchorage on the 11:30pm flight and arrived here in Chicago a little after 8am. I love that AK Airlines does a direct flight, but holy hell is that a long flight! I did actually manage to get a little sleep, but I was most excited about the fact that I totally rocked the crossword in the AK Airlines magazine.

I am so comfortable now with the CTA train system here, which makes everything so much easier. I hoped on the blue line at O'Hare, then the red which led me almost straight to my hotel. I used Hotwire for the first time this trip, which I was a little nervous about because it doesn't actually tell you where you're staying until AFTER you've booked/paid for the room. So far, I'm pretty happy. I got a great deal on the price of the room, and it is literally looking over Michigan Avenue (home of the Magnificent Mile). My window is actually right across from the John Hancock Tower.

So, I got some lunch and crashed for a couple hours. It's now 5:30pm and I feel like I could go to bed already but I know that's a terrible idea. Besides, tonight is the big game! Pats vs. Jets! I'm planning on heading out soon to find some dinner and hopefully a big screen to watch the game on. I have to admit, though, it's really weird to not have a game come on until 7:30pm!

Tomorrow I have lab work and my MRIs. I'm also planning on doing some wandering/shopping. No big plans, but that's fine with me. It will be nice to be able to sleep in!

Of course, as fun as it is to be in Chicago and sleep in and shop...I miss my boys already. It's hard to leave Mason for sure, and it's also hard going to all these appointments alone. Todd would come with me if I asked, and he of course offered to many times, but it's more important to me that Mason's life stay as normal as possible. Besides, this time is only for a few days. It is definitely both a blessing and a curse that Mason doesn't really understand what is going on. I don't think I could handle if he cried knowing I was leaving...but it would be nice if he could understand that I'm coming home Thursday, too.

I'll update you all tomorrow.

Things I am not good at

Well, just one of the things I am not good at...waiting. After complaining for a really long time about my laptop, it was finally decided that I would get a new one. So after some quick research on my part (that should read, looking at Best Buy and talking to coworkers/friends) I decided I wanted the Macbook Pro. Todd took a little more convincing (that should read internet research, quizzing coworkers/friends, looking at Best Buy, checking Consumer Reports, comparing between different Macs, between Macs/PCs, etc), but he was soon on board as well. I ordered my new computer on Friday. Always one to *try* to save money, I did my ordering through a work program called Life Balance. The good thing is that it saved some money. The bad thing is that you have to order online. Thus, the waiting. I swear if I check FedEx tracking one more time I will probably get a pop-up that says "Hey, crazy stalker, leave us alone. The damn package is on the way and it will get there when it gets there!"

Waiting for Wednesday

Lesson learned from prior posting: do not post long, depressed blogs super late at night. One should be sleeping. The outcome is the previous blog, typos and all. Oh well.

Since I left you with that lame post, not a whole lot has changed. I had my final tests Thursday, which both went very well. I apparently have fantastic lung function, which is funny to me since I used to smoke and I have asthma. Who knew?

Friday afternoon Todd and I took the train out to Wheaton to visit Todd's cousin and family. Wheaton is a really cute suburb, and we had a fun time. Todd's cousin (Tim) and his family were welcoming and a great distraction. I would also like to say on record, that they have the 2 most well behaved and mannered children (while still allowing them to be and act like children) I have ever had the pleasure of being around. I will try to post pics later.

We are now back in Chicago and I'm going crazy not knowing what is going to happen to me. I just want it to be Wednesday already so I can get "the call" and go from there. Today there was a crazy loud thunderstorm, complete with lightning and lots of rain. The rain has stopped, but today I think its the first day since I've been here that I haven't thought I was going to die of heat stroke.

Now for the crap

Consider yourself warned, I told you this was coming.

Long story short if that my MRI showed 5 new lesions in my brain since January. One of them is an enhancing (or active) lesion. Also, one of the lesions in my spinal cord in my neck has grown. Basically, this sucks.

The only positive in this news that I have been able to come up with (thanks to Todd, actually) is that a) it confirms that not only do I hate the MS medication I'm currently on, but it actually isn't working and b) it may explain why the last couple months I've been feeling so shitty all the time.

I know, MRI and MS symptoms aren't always connected, but it makes me feel better to think that at least this time they may be.

I also have this sinking feeling that I'm going to end up in the control group. Which will suck. I didn't come all this way and have all these freaking tests to just be sent home, but I have always known this is the way it is. It's a 50/50 shot. Flip of a coin. The control group basically goes about their business, taking any of the FDA approved MS medications and then comes back to be checked at certain intervals. All fine, except the transplant doctor really wants me to be on Tysabri as my FDA approved medication.

Google it. Tysabri. Tysabri deaths. Tysabri PML. Go ahead, I have. It scares me. Todd doesn't want me on it. It's the best med out there right now for MS, I get it. I get why the doc wants me on it. Because if I'm on something else people will argue with his study findings that I wasn't on the "best". Ugh. I'm totally stressed about it now. I really don't know what to do. Deaths aren't really occurring in people on it less than a year, and 2 years is kind of the cut off where your risk goes up and up. So, what, take it for 2 years...then what? Pray I don't get PML? Switch to some other, less effective med?

These are all (obviously) rhetorical questions. I guess that's what a blog is for anyway. Well, it's midnight here, and I haven't been sleeping well at all, but I'm going to give it a try.

You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

I didn't think of that quote all on my own...it's from Winnie the Pooh...but it kind of fits how I've been feeling about this whole Chicago situation.

I feel like I am seconds away from becoming "that" patient. The one that keeps calling until she gets an answer she is happy with. The one who believe to the depths of her soul that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The one who her nurse cringes when she sees on the caller ID.

I am NOT good at waiting, but that's what I've been doing for what seems like FOREVER! I still don't know when I'm going back down to Chicago. A couple of "a couple weeks" later and here we are almost in April. Am I going in May? Dunno. July? Dunno. I don't want to keep bothering them, but seriously, it's a trek for me to get there. Not to mention expensive. And top that with the fact I have to figure out childcare because Todd will be working his usual shifts.

Just needed to vent a little. Hoping for the call soon!

Let the battle begin!

This week I was in Chicago for an evaluation for a clinical trial at Northwestern University. My bestie Mariah flew from Buffalo to hang out with me for a couple days of fun, which was fantastic! We had fun walking around in the freezing-ass cold downtown "Magnificent Mile", hanging out with the "Captain" in our hotel room, and even made it to PF Chang's for a yummy dinner. So, while that would have been wonderful enough...there's MORE!

First...I had a new MRI while I was there of my brain and neck. The last couple scans I've had over the past year have had new and/or active lesions, so I expected this one to be the same. I was AMAZED when the doctor told me that I don't currently have any active spots!

Second...I met with a neurologist at the Rush University MS Center. It was crazy to be in this place that ONLY has MS patients. Sitting in the waiting room caused a little anxiety just seeing little glimpses into what my future could possibly hold for me...but the neurologist was a really nice man and felt like all in all I was doing "ok". He did an EDSS test, which is a bunch of things that measure your overall disability. I got a 3. If you want to know more about what that means go here.

Third....I met with an immunologist at Northwestern University Memorial Hospital. Super cool guy from Montana who is leading this amazing study. Read this...it's amazing. Anyway, I meet ALL the criteria for his amazing clinical trial and I AM A CANDIDATE!!! I really went into this thinking that they were going to tell me no for whatever reason, so I was so happy when he said I qualified. In a nutshell they are harvesting the patient's stem cells, giving the patient chemotherapy to wipe out their immune system, then transfusing the stem cells back in. Basically this "resets" the immune system and the new white blood cells won't attack my myelin anymore.

What it all means........for now, at least, it means that the battle of the insurance company will begin. Basically, all insurance companies deny this at first and then the appeal process begins. Luckily, the people at Northwestern have been through this lots of times and will hopefully know just what to do. Assuming that insurance finally approves the treatment, I will go back to Chicago for about a week or two of more testing to make sure my body will handle everything. After that is one final hurdle that I have no control over...whether I'm in the "control" or the "treatment" group. The good news about the control is that if my EDSS goes up a point while on MS meds, I have the option of transferring into the treatment group.

I know this is a lot of information, and I'm sure I left tons of things out, but the main point was to tell you all that I at least qualify! So...cross your fingers for me, or say a prayer, or do a little dance...basically just send some good vibes my way, please.

So long, girls

Today, July 30th, 2009, I put on a size 34H bra for the last time. Tomorrow morning I go to the Ak Surgery Center at 8am to have breast reduction surgery. I'm sure the procedure will go smoothly, and I totally trust my surgeon (Dr. Jana Cole). I'm a little worried about how much it's going to hurt after, but I was told it doesn't last long. I will try to at least keep people updated on Twitter...maybe I can even get Todd to post an update blog.

My family is going to help with Mason since I won't be able to lift anything for 2-3 weeks. That will be the worst part of the whole thing, I know. Hopefully it will fly by. I know I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing family that is so willing to help out. They're awesome! And of course Todd will take great care of me, like always.

So......wish me luck......can't wait to show off my "new" girls :)

When is it my turn?

One of the other pregnant girls at work is probably having her baby as I type this. Her water broke today at work. Well, not broke in the gushing water sense that people see in movies, but none the less, she was, well, leaking. She had been having pains/contractions since yesterday, but today after the leaking she was told by everyone at work to go to the hospital. (Side note: DUH!!! was my response. While not the most sensitive, it seemed crazy that she wouldn't know to do that)

Another one of the the pregnant girls at work is also probably delivering right now. Last I heard she was heading to L&D to be started on Pitocin. (Another note: Yes, work is full of pregnant people right now. I'm one of 3 in the lab and one of 5 or 6 in x-ray)

Basically, I'm just a little jealous. It reminds me of before we finally got pregnant, when I was constantly complaining to Todd that everyone else was having babies except for us! I know my time will be here soon enough, and honestly, if my water broke today I'd be more than a little freaked out, but I'm ready. I'm ready for the heartburn to go away, to sleep comfortably again, to work my normal job/hours again, to eat blue cheese and drink a glass of wine, and most of all I'm just ready to meet this little one I've been hosting for the last 8 months. I want to see what he looks like, and find out if it's really true that heartburn=hair. I feel like I already know him and his little personality. Now I just need to meet him face to face.